Both Feet on the Ground

Amid cruel chaos, there's power in staying steady.

Author

Crucial Comix
February 06, 2025

Drawings by Joaquin Golez

I stood in the middle of a circle, very still, ten sets of eyes on my body. The group of strangers gazed at my shape intently, sketching the thick lines of my legs, the curve of my shoulders. 

When my friend Joaquin told me he was organizing a figure drawing night for queer and trans youth, I immediately volunteered to be a model. The event took place inside a former law office that had been recently transformed into an art collective. Inside the shell of a bland corporate firm, a strange new life blossomed: drawings were pinned cubicle walls, the imposing reception desk was covered in cups colored pencils, the lobby was now home to a cozy loveseat. 

Outside, it was pouring rain.

Outside, time moved on ceaselessly.

Outside, in the name of “defending women’s rights,” the most powerful man in the country signed an order ending the federal government’s recognition of trans people: “Efforts to eradicate the biological reality of sex fundamentally attack women by depriving them of their dignity, safety, and well-being.”

Inside, friends of various genders squeezed in next to each other, smiling shyly as they showed each other their drawings.   

Inside, there were free snacks.

Inside, I stood tall, arms crossed, in tiny black shorts, a sheer, neon-yellow shirt, and little devil horns. Is this the demon they’re afraid of?

I jumped at the chance to model for this group because amid the political campaign aiming to snuff out the future of trans kids, I wanted those kids to see a grown-up nonbinary person. Someone who is 38, whose hair is growing increasingly silver, who is living a life they love, who is furious and proud and joyful and not going anywhere.

Amid all the cruel chaos, there’s power in standing steady. Every day, there are new proposals for hateful and irrational laws, for wild and malicious policies that are designed to uproot us, to unnerve us, to knock us off balance. Surrounded by a circle of people I care for, I have both feet on the ground. Together, we build our own dignity, our own safety, our own well-being.

Upcoming events 

February 8 - Cartoonists for Palestine event 

I’m heading to San Francisco this weekend to see friends and host a small launch party for the Cartoonists for Palestine anthology, which we published through Crucial Comix. Exciting news is that this book has already made a profit, so in January I had the thrill of sending $1,315 in book-profit donations to Palestinian aid groups. Anyway, come say hi if you’re in the Bay Area! Feb 8th, 7pm-9pm, Silver Sprocket (1018 Valencia St, SF) 

February 14 - Free friendship zine workshop 

If you don’t have Valentine’s Day plans, I’m leading a free Friday Night Comics session for the Sequential Arts Workshop where we’ll make a friendship zine. I’ll share a zine template and you make a zine as a gift for a friend! This is a free 90-minute session, but you have to RSVP in advance to get the zoom link. Feb 14, 4pm PST / 7pm EST, online

February 20 - Taxes for Artists workshop 

In order to survive, every artist in the United States unfortunately also has to be a small business owner and develop a nuanced understanding of tax law. I’m organizing this public, donation-based workshop with the person who does my taxes, Elisabeth Parker of Brass Taxes. If you are a freelancer who’s a little bit scared of taxes, this is for you. RSVP here. Feb 20, 1pm PST/4pm EST, online

How people are using my “how to make a zine” zine this month

A small delight for me every day is getting emails from people who download my “how to make a zine” template. I thought I would share some of this delight. Reading these descriptions makes me feel like I’m planting seeds—and have no idea how they’ll grow. Here are just a handful of things people are doing with my zine template this month. Let this be your inspiration to go make a zine! 

  • I am teaching middle school. All of my grades are making zines on different parts of art history and what they like about them. —North Carolina 

  • I'm a youth librarian, doing a program teaching kids how to make their own zines! —Illinois 

  • I'm hosting a zine-a-thon workshop. To show the students how to fold a zine, I'd love to use yours! —Netherlands 

  • To use with work experience students at the art gallery where I work. —England 

  • I'm teaching queer youth how to make zines at the library next weekend. —Washington 

  • Just making zines with my daughter as bonding time. —California 

Two comics on my mind 

There are two comics we published at The Nib years ago that I went back and reread this past week amid, you know, everything.   

>> “Environmental catastrophe is coming. The rich will be just fine.” By Maria Stoian // Maria wrote this prescient comic (seen above) in 2018 and I was thinking about it in January as we watched private firefighters save homes in Los Angeles while the homes of people who can’t afford their own personal firefighting crew go up in smoke. 

>> “Caged Lives: Imprisoned in Guantanamo, wild animals reminded me I’m human.” By Mansoor Adayfi, illustrated by Kane Lynch // Among Trump’s many totally batshit declarations over the past two weeks was the idea to imprison thousands of migrants at Guantanamo Bay. As long as the prison remains open, the door is open to this insane and inhumane possibility.   

What I’m reading 

Love in a F*cked-Up World - Dean Spade is such an icon of intersectional queer organizing. As a trans lawyer and writer, he’s been an outspoken leader for years on prison abolition, mutual aid, and activism. Obviously this new book on building healthy relationships is a little too timely —I went to his book release at Powell’s in January and it was so packed that the book sold out. Love in A F*cked-Up World reminds me of what I was trying to do with my first book Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules, except Dean has a much wider lens and connects the dots more clearly between how our personal, intimate relationships shape and are shaped by societal structures. 

Solito - This memoir by Javier Zamora is the “Everybody Reads” book for Multnomah County this year, which means the library is giving away thousands of free copies. Zamora tells the story of leaving El Salvador when he was nine with a group of migrants and traveling thousands of miles to the United States to reunite with his parents. I am hooked and stayed up until 1am last night reading this! 

No Gods, No Monsters - I put this novel by Cadwell Turner on hold back in October when I was looking for “spooky” books, but I’m glad it didn’t arrive until January because it’s less of a creepy horror story and more of a real-world horror story envisioning how a feared minority—people with magical powers—would be treated by society and organize themselves. 

Slippery Creatures - I asked friends for escapist audiobooks and this racy gay British spy mystery series by KJ Charles absolutely 1000% delivered.  

Stuff I Love 

Amid the national calamities, I’ve been trying to deal with my grief around the loss of my dog by being very healthy. Ugh. I’ve been drinking lots of tea, I’ve been going to yoga constantly, and as much as I impulsively want to buy a ticket to go literally anywhere and do literally anything to distract me from this sadness, I haven’t made any huge, impulsive purchases. Buuuut, I have been buying some small impulsive things. That’s an okay way to channel your grief, right? Right?! Here’s what I’ve been buying because I’m sad. 

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to tell me some ways you’re keeping your feet or paws on the ground.